8 Jul 2012

NOT SO "AMAZING SPIDER-MAN" RANT


WARNING! HARSH LANGUAGE, PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS ADVISED.

I don't usually do this but the circumstances demand it. I have a lot of frustration bottled in from watching the "Amazing Spider-Man" movie. Actually, my frustrations are not entirely from the movie as much as they were triggered by the responses of other watchers.

He was DEFINITELY at the theater.
When the movie was FINALLY done, and I do mean FINALLY because I restrained myself from walking out severally, I heard people a few seats to my right  in the theatre clapping. I was taken aback. Who are these film-goers who clap after such a movie? It later dawned on me that there were hoards of them with positive Internet buzz surrounding the movie. Those that loved it really did while those that despised it... Well... Let's just say they are blogging about it at odd hours of the night...


I will just say, from the onset this movie is riddled with failure and disappointment at every turn so much that I feel the weight of typing all the misfires already. It failed to make sense even within its own flawed logic. Visiting its memory is a journey to a place that I am only taking for the benefit of others. I will now get into it with a plot dissection. My memory may be scanty at some bits as I occasionally closed my eyes in disbelief or turned to discuss the horror on screen with my brother who was equally disgusted. 
Let us begin.

PLOT

A young Peter Parker is abandoned by his parents who were working on a secret formula for Oscorp but have their house ravaged by (who knows) and decide to escape leaving young Peter with his aunt and Uncle Ben. It is very unclear where Peter's parents are from this point on until some point in the movie when a newspaper clipping (which if you aren't keen you might miss) shows their plane crashed somewhere and they presumably died. That newspaper clipping also signals lip service later on pointing to the fact that Dr. Connors (the eventual villain) must comply with a certain Oscorp project (that involves human experimentation with animal DNA to save Norman Osborn from who-knows-what disease) or he will suffer the fate of Peter's parents. Hmmm... Ok, whatevs...

Uncle Ben is cheating on Aunt May with the
nutty lady from "Brothers & Sisters."
So Peter is now grown and is a photographer at school. Flash Thompson, being the usual jock equipped  with an audience is picking on some kid. He asks Peter to take a picture of the incident and Peter refuses to. So from the onset, Peter is already a hero, this incident earns him a beating and Gwen Stacy's seemingly instantaneous affection. She did not know Peter before this incident. What would follow is proof that "With Great Power Comes Great Irresponsibility" as this was one of his last truly genuine acts of heroism. It also earns him a beating with scars that really worry an Aunt May who never really looked the part of Aunt May. These were the first of several scars he would eventually go home with night after night during the movie to which Aunt May would just hug him and cry or yell at him for not buying the eggs he was sent for and cry or just cry. Way-to-go Aunt May. No wonder you have no kids of your own.

So the family has had a bag belonging to Peter's father which they all thought to be empty with a secret compartment containing files. Peter of course discovers the secret compartment, blaaady bla bla, and finds a picture that turns out to be his father & Dr Connors and a secret formula written on paper.
The brains behind Oscorp.
He then goes to Oscorp to investigate the link between Dr. Connors and his parents who he never really knew. Surprise surprise, Gwen Stacy works there, a high-school girl with an unbelievable access level to the building. This high-school girl is running the show at Oscorp. Peter steals some random kid's badge for an internship tour and as he is inside, the owner of the badge is seen to be forcefully evicted from the building by security. Score one for cunning young Peter. Gwen notices Peter the impostor and covers for him when he catches the eye of Dr. Connors with that Peter Parker genius that we all know and love; reminiscent of his interaction with Dr Octavius in Raimi's Spider-Man 2.  (That genius also NEVER appeared again during the entire movie) They discuss cross-species experiments, blaaaady bla bla and Connors dream of a world without weakness. So yeah, he will eventually experiment with lizard DNA on himself to grow back his missing arm and unfortunately turn into The Lizard.

So Peter escapes from the Oscorp tour following a man who had documents of interest to him and sneaks into a room full of glowing spiders and I do mean FULL of glowing spiders. He plays with one of their webs and they all come crumbling down on him. As he escapes the room, one conveniently remains in the back of his jacket. So at this point I am wondering, room FULL of spiders, one bites him, turns him into Spider-Man, what do all the rest of the spiders do and what happened to them after that scene and just why... Why did they have a room containing hundreds of glowing spiders? Even when he did become Spider-Man, these Oscorp scientists had a room FULL of spiders. Why did nobody say, "Hey, there's a kid with spider powers running around. Why don't we go to our spider room because we have loads of spiders at Oscorp and we could create another?" How is it that Peter was the only victim of a spider bite that turned into a super powered hero while EVERY OTHER CROSS-SPECIES EXPERIMENT, LIZARD, SPIDER OR RAT ENDED IN DEATH OR HORRID MUTATION? The tale of that room full of spiders was just supposed to fade from memory as we accept that Peter was the only mutation gone right and the scientists didn't think to find out why.

Fellow New Yorkers, please don't remember my
appearance.
He discovers his powers on a subway train, gets into a fight with all the commuters who see his face as he sticks to the roof of the train, comes home late with scars on his face, angers Uncle Ben, they argue, Peter gives that whole "YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER" speech and storms out. Uncle Ben follows him into the dark dangerous night as he hides above some structure with his spider powers. I should point out that during this scene I said a silent prayer that whatever I was expecting to happen doesn't, but well, not all prayers are answered in the way that we want.

Peter enters a store to buy milk (because that's just what he does when he's upset. Teenagers...) and the store owner refuses to sell him milk because he is a couple pennies short or something. A guy who is clearly a mugger behind him holds up the store, gives Peter the milk he was unable to pay for and escapes. So Peter, the accessory to store robbery is asked to help catch the guy by the store owner to which he says something to the effect of, "Not my concern." Hmmm... Where have I seen this scene before... Meanwhile, Uncle Ben is walking the same street looking for Peter the Douche. What he finds is a mugger fleeing and conveniently falling in front of him with gun. Heroic Uncle Ben wrestles for the gun and gets shot in the process. Peter subsequently does the whole teary "WHYYY!!!" bit. Hmmm, where have I seen ALL THESE SCENES BEFORE??? I found this writing so incredibly lazy and an insult to ticket-buyers everywhere. Yes, as expected, Peter got a police sketch and chose to use his powers to hunt down Uncle Ben's killers... What is going on here??? Reboot you say? Maybe you need to look up the word Marc Webb. What was even sadder was the police officer's comment to Peter as he walked out. "Oh, remember he has a tattoo on his wrist." How this piece of information would be useful to this teenager, I don't know, unless of course the writers thought it would help explain Peter's nightly rampages through the streets beating up strangers and checking for a tattoo on their wrists...
Why they even did an origin is beyond me after Sam Raimi left no doubt that there is no better way to possibly envision an origin story of Spider-Man. After a while, I guess Peter just lost interest in finding Uncle Ben's killer or weightier matters took precedence.

I thought I was good but my face is turning scaly so I must 
be evil...
What follows this absurd re-introduction of Spider-Man to the audience is a confused cluster**k of a plot with Dr Connors character changing whenever it suited the writers and Peter Parker mastering his powers waaaay too quickly all the while being an absolute douchebag on an incomprehensible level. Lets just face it, Peter was a total asshole throughout the movie giving no reason for us to either sympathise, empathise, identify with or understand his situation. The only lesson on the cards was, with great power comes great douchebaggary. He went on a rampage attacking people, beating down Flash Thompson, dressing down anyone who thought Spider-Man was a menace, fighting with cops, yelling at Aunt May and storming out on her, insulting Gwen Stacy's father who was the captain of the police force IN HIS OWN HOUSE during a dinner he was invited to, running his mouth in a snide and offencive manner and just being a dick. There was no ounce of self sacrifice or any notion of it from the genius who never was. His whole interaction with Dr. Connors was based on a lie as he stole his father's formula and gave it to Connors claiming it was his own genius... Yeah, that sounds like something the Peter Parker we all know and love would do...

Step aside Edward & Bella, 
there's a new power couple
in town.
Later he saved a kid from falling into a river (A scene with its own multitude of flaws) which was meant to be his epiphany to change and put others before himself but he just went on being an nuisance to the bitter end. His motivation for fighting The Lizard wasn't even clear because there was nothing in him to show why he was doing it. He was an empty character. The writing in this movie was terrible and they only succeeded in character regression. Peter came from the kid who sticks-up for kids being bullied in school to a bully himself.

Peter's big reveal to Gwen about his identity was appalling, an unbelievable mess of a scene and only the fact that I was treated to the movie prevented me from storming out at that point. It was like witnessing a raping of a character you know and love. Gwen chose to say "Oh my god you're Spider-Man" even before it was established who this vigilante running around the city was. There was no J. Jonah Jameson to create the name on the front page of the Daily Bugle, it just popped up from goodness knows where. It wasn't once mentioned in the media or anywhere else in the movie. Later Peter came out to boldly claim "I am Spider-Man." No you're not, you're the product of a director who didn't know what the hell he was doing.

As far as Dr. Connors is concerned I don't know what the hell was going on with him. Norman Osborn is dying and Connors must find a cure or he will be killed like Peter Parker's parents. Connors injects lizard DNA into his arm which grows back then an instant mutation turns him into The Lizard at the back of a New York taxi. From this point on, the Dr. who has since been level headed goes on a rampage with an unclear motive (presumably to stop some guy from going somewhere to do something that may get him in trouble) smashing everything in sight. He gets into a fight with Spider-Man and escapes to a hole. In this sewer (which suddenly has a fully equipped laboratory) he decides that humans are foolish and must all be turned into lizard people. He cooks up a formula and heads for Oscorp to poison the city and turn everyone into Lizard people. Yes, it really happened.
My hand is growing back! Too bad the urge to destroy the
city will soon follow. It is what it is...
Now here is where it really gets good. The formula that had been worked on forever and even Dr. Connors couldn't figure out how to whip-up needed an antidote to save the city. Gwen Stacy, the high-school classmate of Peter Parker whipped it up in a matter of minutes at Oscorp using her genius and high level of security clearance. What did I tell you, this schoolgirl was the boss all along.

As Gwen Stacy uses her superior intellect to whip-up the antidote, it becomes clear to Spider-Man that she is in danger. He must find his way to Oscorp to save the city from the threat of the lizard-people virus. Oh how we love that iconic doom-the-city-from-a-tall-building (Transformer/Avengers) scene. Unfortunately for Spider-Man, he is viewed as a menace so he gets shot in the thigh by New York's finest and Captain Stacy is on hand to take-off his mask. "Gasp! Its the teenager who be dating my daughter..." (How many people will this kid expose his secret identity to?) Peter is able to "reason" with the Captain who spares him and sets him free to rescue his daughter and the city. It is interesting that in this scene, there are hundreds of witnesses on that street but only the Captain really sees Spider-Man's identity without the mask. The police all stand slack-jaw staring as they place the fate of the city in the hands of a teenager who they just shot and wounded. Spider-Man is now limping and running out of time. Fortunately for him, several building cranes are stationed between his exact location and Oscorp. What are the odds of that? 
News channels suddenly turn into narrators explaining how Spider-Man needs to make his way to Oscorp but is wounded and may not make it in time. It was as if he was texting them with his immediate thoughts for them to report to the public. After that absurd news broadcast, the crane operators get inspired by the situation to station their cranes in a way that would allow a few Tarzan swings to Oscorp. Beyond this unbelievable coincidence, it was also very fortunate that Spider-Man was armed with the power of forgetfulness. He webbed-up his thigh and pretty much forgot that he got shot as he swung into action and arrived at Oscorp.
OK, OK, very funny, who switched the movie to Twilight? My ticket says Spider-Man.

Captain Stacy eventually dies in a scene reminiscent of Harry Osborn's death in Spider-Man 3 (actually identical to Harry Osborn's death) as he was helping Spider-Man fight the Lizard but unfortunately got clawed through the stomach and out the back. Peter wrapped up the Lizard battle just in time to rush to Captain Stacy's side on that roof top for the final reconciliation. They just managed to duplicate Sam Raimi's portrayal of Harry's death so yaaay to the reboot. Well, at least the secret of Spider-Man's identity died with the captain. Thank goodness all New Yorkers have terrible memory and the police have poor vision except Captain Stacy whose death would conveniently sort out the little matter of the knowledge he had acquired.
The Iguana... err... Lizard interrupts Gwen Stacy's
synthesis of the lizard-people antidote...
As we return to the good doctor, he suddenly realised that maybe he's doing a bad thing, "let me help Spider-Man up this building ledge in a dramatic show of repentance as my lizard DNA withers away," even though Spider-Man can stick to walls and probably didn't need to be pulled up. It was good P.R. for Dr. Connors who's character shifted whenever the writers saw it fit.

If you know anything about Spider-Man you will be wondering, where was Norman Osborn through all this? I mean, I have seen Oscorp mentioned tonnes of times and Osborn orchestrating the deaths of Peter's parents so where was he? Unfortunately even I can't tell you because I didn't see him. He didn't once make an appearance during the entire duration of the film. Yaaay for us however, they had a post-credits scene with a voice speaking incomprehensibly from the shadows and a figure who was impossible to identify. Thanks Marc Webb. That was bloody helpful.

I won't even get into the eventual and unnatural bromance between Flash (another victim of bipolar characterization) and Peter, one which I have never seen or read about before. Neither will I address the super powered displays by Peter suddenly having the ability to bend a football post by tossing a ball at it or flying higher than the basketball rim and smashing it to pieces and not arousing any suspicion from his clearly less-than-intelligent schoolmates. Even when The Lizard rampaged through the school and fought Spider-Man, nobody was able to make the connection between him and Peter. I also don't think I should discuss Peter Parker's skateboard which was broken severally but thankfully, being a magic skateboard, like his magical Spider-Man suit that just appeared when he became Spider-Man, it always returned to normal whenever he needed it. 
Oh no, Peter's secret is out!
What Ill absolutely not discuss is Peter's fight in the waters of the sewer; I have no clue why, but he had a camera in the sewer taking pictures of his fight with the Lizard. Look, don't ask me why, I have no idea what greatness bubbles within the director's mind. So Peter escapes leaving behind his camera with bold inscription saying "Property of Peter Parker." Congratulations script writer sir, that was the best possible way for the Lizard to realise Parker is Spider-Man. And how about his visit to Gwen after the fight when she either had a terribly blocked nose or just didn't notice the stench while making-out with sewer boy or letting him lie down in her room while she tends to his wounds. 

Quite frankly, it speaks for itself. This was a BAD! movie and with each new sentence I type I discover a new flaw. I will watch Green Lantern ten times before I revisit that horror of a character's butchering.

44 comments:

  1. There is one other thing, when the hero ''Uncle Ben'' wrestled the thug for who knows what reason, got shot and Peter for some strange reason happened to be walkin by the same place and just happened to look back right after the thug left, how did the cops know who the killer was? THE STREET WAZ PRACTICALY EMPTY!!! And how the H*LL did he not hear the gun shot? The gun was't even silenced

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    1. Like I said, the mistakes in this movie are much more than I could even put down myself. Unbelievable movie.

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  2. Man i told you, im sure batman wont disappoint...hehe

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    1. Chris Nolan is a genius who takes care of his films unlike Marc Webb.
      I have lost all respect for him honestly. I had thought he was a great character developer after watching 500 Days of Summer.
      Even the score for the film had no impact on the events on screen. Sam Raimi's orchestra played music that was so lifting, it elevated every scene. When Peter had lost his powers in Spider-Man 2 then Mary Jane was kidnapped and his powers came back, the music in that scene was moving stuff. You felt like, yes! Something big is about to happen. Marc Webb may as well have muted his music because I didn't even notice it was there.
      He made it look like Raimi was given 10 times the budget Webb was given.

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  3. One you can barely spell most of the words you've chosen to use.... two I just saw the move and it was great !!!!! Garfield was a better spiderman yes it had some flaws and thats even debatable. I love the fact that spiderman isn't so nice all the time like Tobey was don't get me wrong I still like the first installment of spidermans however I also like/love this one its refreshing all the of cast was great unlike the first installment Mary Jane aka Kristen Dunst SUCKS!!! big time so it was nice to see Emma Stone and better actress play the love interest of spiderman. Anyway bottom line open your eyes and get past the PAST

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    1. I can agree with a difference in opinion. You have the right to yours but there were glaring errors in the movie that just spoke to carelessness on the part of the writers or apathy. Either way, it felt rushed and had no soul.
      I'm not living in the past by any means, I was all for the reboot because I thought it would be done right. That's why I rushed to the theater when the movie premiered. I was even overlooking some of the mistakes early on until they became too many and the movie just felt long, bad and pointless.
      As for Spider-Man not being nice all the time, I'm not going to get into that one with you. All I can tell you is, pick up a comic and understand the point of Spider-Man. These movies aren't just mindless entertainment. They have a point.
      "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility." What does this movie teach a young kid who's getting introduced to Spider-Man for the first time? Be bad to your aunt? Defy the police? Disregard people's feelings? Read up on your heroes and their ideals, it may surprise you.

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    2. this movie teaches forgiveness. its the reason peter decides to give up on bens killer, and on flash.

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  4. Hi Mr ''I love the fact that
    spiderman isn't so nice all
    the time like Tobey was'', DO YOU KNOW WHO THE H*ELL PETER PARKER/ SPIDER MAN IS?! I dont think you do so you best do your research on that, two what did you like in that so called movie? that movie is so random and at a point things were being rushed. If I may ask, is it a normal thing bending a metal bar by use of a ball Or shattering a basketball back board ? As far as i'm concerned that isnt human strength and the real Peter wouldn't rat himself out to a girl he just met and worst of all, the daughter of the man who wants to catch him. Where did thoes spiders even come from and how do we know that they were experimented on? Sam's Spiderman explained al this. Here is another thing, at some point they started rushing things. If you watch the first spider man by Sam, you would understand my point or better yet, if you were a spiderman fan you would understand what this movie has done.

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    1. I don't think the comment above has any substance. Either the person never read a comic before or just doesn't care for characterization. You have pointed out even more issues with the movie that I may have overlooked. Peter Parker's identity is one of his most treasured secrets. In the comics he didn't even want to share that secret with Mary Jane Watson who he really really loved unlike Gwen who in this movie appears to be a random case of Puppy-love. He didn't even want the Avengers knowing who he was initially.

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  5. Hahaha, mel. I have died. eh sawa. The guy who loved that movie is clearly an ardent twilight fan. Glittery vampires and such. That is the only explanation. That movie was such shit that im not done feeling bad about it. So i have read a comic or two in which spidey uses the web cartridge thing and i have never been a fan but the way it was used in this movie was far beyond what my imagination is willing to accept. In addition to this, i thought the lizard had a lizard face, you know, the ability to control reptiles and menacing teeth but this guy looked like a human-iguana cross breed. And peter parker has been consistently gameless through the years but this was a new angle that was something out of a series from disney. In batman my faith rests.

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  6. And that says it all. More and more problems with the movie. Unfortunately, people who know nothing about Spider-Man will push sales towards a sequel. Very sad indeed.
    You know what, it wouldn't surprise me if Marc Webb takes career advice from Michael Bay. Transformers 3 anyone?

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  7. some of them liked the amazing spiderman not because of the story but because of the actor garfield and actress stone.if you read their comments its all about garfield and stone. but as a spiderman comic fan, movie fan, spidy lovers... you would see the big difference of this amazing spiderman and tobey's trilogy of spiderman...sam;s creation is a classic, that was entitled for the word "amazing" and as far as i remember..the word amazing spider-man comes first in tobey's first installment of spiderman when he was introduced in a wrestling competition .this garfield version it want spiderman at all!

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  8. That's what I came to notice after reading most of the comments. It was all about how cute Garfield and Stone looked on screen. Maybe that's all that is required to impress this 3D generation of movie watchers. Most you will find are Michael Bay die-hard fans.
    Christopher Nolan's bold move not to have The Dark Knight Rises in 3D was a very admirable one. Everyone is getting away with careless productions because they distract a good percentage of the audience with effects.
    I guess the real fans like us can stick to our original Spider-Man trilogy while the rest get lost in mindless action and romance.

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    1. That is rubbish. The original Spider-Man trilogy was incredibly inaccurate. For example, in the original comics, webs don't just start shooting out of his wrists. There are plenty of more things that are wrong with that movie, but I digress. All I ask is that you don't call yourself a "real fan".

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    2. The web shooting from Spider-Man's wrist is the ONLY liberty Raimi took with the script. Webb on the other hand changed EVERY SINGLE THING that the fans care about. I don't think I should begin listing them afresh. Most scenes by Raimi were even straight from the pages of Stan Lee's comics. I don't know where Webb got his inspiration.
      Even Randy Schueller who took a lot of liberty and created a new character in Venom never went as far as this hot mess of a movie.

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  9. I thought the new spider-man was cheesy, campy and coincidence ridden. That's what i thought about the other spidey movies too. The comics as well...except for the Bendis Ultimate Spider-man. Now that was what spidey should be, the characters were brilliant, there were consequences to stupidity, even the bullies were fully sleshed out human beings, but enough praise for Bendis. Back to this review.

    Now, while i agree with many of your points i still think the original spiderman was worse. Why? This new one was campy but it wasn't Uncle Ben gets a few last words in before death because the grim reaper is a patient being who waits patiently for the drama and convenience type campy. Though they stooped to it for Inspector Stacy but hey, at least the more important death was saved.
    It was cheesy, but not "i've almost lost but a last burst of will shall save me in the end." RESOLVE! BANKAI! (ok, exaggeration but you get the point)I've always hated that story-telling gimmick, its cheap and lazy. In the new one he won by sticking to the goal no matter what. He did it in a cheesy way, but it was a better reason to win.

    There were a few touches i did find cool. The thing with the cranes, a lot cooler than buildings. I always wondered what he'd do if there were no buildings perfectly aligned which should, in truth, happen often.
    The web shooters, a lot better than the weird unexplained stuff in the first movie.
    The fact that peter was actually a wise-cracking funny guy. I always felt that they forgot that part in the first adaptation.

    The one thing that i did love was that peter couldn't do it alone. He needed the people because heroes dont live in a super i-can-do-it-all bubble especially if theyve just got their powers. He needed help. That, for me is the one thing that set this one apart. Peter didnt win because he's all awesome but because there were some people willing to help and some braver and more focused than he could ever be.

    With all that said, do i think it was a great movie? No. Not really, it was meh. but if i had to pick between this and the first, i pick this. Both bad but this one had some cooler moments and a great one. I can list out all its mistakes but you've done a thorough job of that so ill let it go. it wasn't great it was just "less bad"

    One more thing, you've hated on the director but the directing in this movie was pretty good actually. He got good performances from the actors and the moods were always on spot. All the problems rise from the script and thats the script writer's domain.

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    1. To respond (On the part that deals with this particular movie) in Raimi's Spider-Man, Uncle Ben's death was for realization sake that with great power comes great responsibility. In Marc Webb's Amazing Spider-Man however, he died just because. He didn't need to get any words in because his death had no meaning to the plot. He died because, well, everyone knows Uncle Ben dies right?

      As for the cranes, with the city fully built and no sign of serious on-going construction, I don't understand the purpose of so many cranes exactly where Spider-Man needed them to be. It was a children's entertainment gimmick at best.

      As for the characterization, there's a big difference between genuine wisecracking humour and being offensive. Read the current run of Amazing Spiderman by Dan Slott especially around Spider Island. You will see the difference between a good natured humorous kid and a bitter, snide, spiteful Andrew Garfield delivered character. Sure Sam Raimi didn't deliver that in his trilogy but at least he got Peter Parker's compassion. Marc seemed to be channeling a teenage Eminem rather than an honest young man trying to help the world.

      Sam Raimi never made Spider-Man an "Ican do everything" character. This new Spider-Man was the one who seemed invincible forgetting gun-shot wounds and mastering his powers within an hour. Using his web-shooters in a way that took Spider-Man from the comics YEARS too master.

      As for the screenwriter and director, Raimi walked out on Spider-Man, did you know that? And did you know why he walked out on Spider-Man? Because of the crap he was being given to work with. The failures of the 3rd film could all be avoided if Raimi had been allowed to choose his villains and direction like he wanted to. So here's where I blame Marc, the movie is your vision, you shouldn't accept crap if you know what your job is. Whoever wrote the script doesn't concern me, no director worth his salt would put his name on such a travesty.

      This movie will never compare to Sam Raimi's work. If you need a reminder of what a good Spider-Man movie is, look for me, I have the DVD trilogy you can re-watch.

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    2. "Uncle Ben's death was for realization sake that with great power comes great responsibility.n Marc Webb's Amazing Spider-Man however, he died just because."
      Sometimes death is meaningless and that's why its often so hard to deal with it. Giving a death specific significance doesn't make the person staying alive just long enough to deliver some final words and then die any less campy.

      NY is a construction center. Theres always several projects going on simultaneously, its why almost every movie set in NY almost always makes a nod to construction crews

      Spiteful, its been a while so my memory isnt completely clear on it but what did he say that was mean?

      Oh come on, he really was an i can do everything character. Mr i can save both the kids and Mary Jane in a feat that doesn't leave me injured enough not to be able to fight. Neither does a bomb exploding right next to me incapacitate me as it should. No, all i need is will power and i can come out of this losing streak immediately. Like i said. Cheesy.

      lets just say im not a Spidey movie fan. Theyve all disappointed me. But i can applaud Sam Raimi for walking away instead of working with crap. That's actually admirable.

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    3. Are you a Spider-Man comic book fan? If you really love the comics, there is no way you can rationalize Uncle Ben dying "just because." What about Batman's parents being killed? Can you watch a movie where they die and it doesn't have an effect on Bruce so he turns into Batman later just because the city is corrupt? These origin stories cannot be played around with. Every event is cause and effect. Uncle Ben died because Peter needed to realize that he can't act irresponsibly. Stan Lee may as well have kept him alive if his death wasn't an integral part of why Spider-Man became the most self-sacrificial hero in the whole of the Marvel Universe. If it didn't bring him even closer to Aunt May as she becomes everything to him (Which is still consistent after over 600 issues of Amazing Spider-Man)

      As for the spite, just re-watch the movie if you can stand it. I've never been put-off by a protagonist before, even when they were arrogant but THIS Spider-Man, he was the embodiment of an adolescent juvenile delinquent who needed to sit in a jail cell and rethink his life.

      Whether you find Raimi's Spider-Man cheesy or not, his actions all made sense. You didn't watch the movie and say, "that's so fake how he rescued everybody." He did it in a very plausible manner. Whether it would really happen is another story and he got banged-up pretty badly in all the three films.

      I don't know why you cling to defending this movie, it was really bad and you're a smart person. You should have seen all these before I even pointed them out.

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  10. Judging by the sheer length of your analysis my friend, this film hit you in a raw place !

    I must agree with you fully Mel Man - the movie sucked....no it super sucked. I've never been an overly zealous Spider Man ( Batman has always been my favourite ) fan but Riami put my faith in the web slinger. This movie was made for 2 reasons : 1. To appease the ever growing silly Twilight fans ( admit it, there was something Twilightish about this film ) and 2. To make money off of everyone without really focussing on a great movie making experience.

    By now TDKR has come and gone and I am sure you also will agree with me that Nolan let slip his directorial genius a wee bit. TDKR was a great movie - possibly the best Hollywood will churn out this miserable movie year BUT it was NOT 'Epic!', 'Groundbreaking', a 'Tour De Force!', 'Phenomenal' or 'Two Thumbs Way up!'....Nolan would have reprised Joker ala Depp, resurrected Harvey Dent and then thrown in the Riddler but Hollywood didn't have the stomach or budget for such a move....don't get me wrong...Hathaway, Hardy and the usual ensemble were above par BUT once again Hollywood will make USD 1 Billion off the sly...by pre-hyping something to the level that it actually is not at.

    My free advice ? If you want to find the magic of comics...stick to comics....movies, like Hip Hop...are dead.

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    1. And that says it all actually. From the Twilight reference to the hunger for cash by Hollywood execs. Its all very sad really.
      "Let's make the next Spider-Man dark enough to look just a bit like The Dark Knight but with enough Twilight sprinkled in to pull the vast teenage audience that will buy tickets for just about anything with pretty faces." I'm surprised they didn't give the leading roles to Justin Bieber & Miley Cyrus because in essence, that's the audience they were after.

      That said, I felt the same about TDKR, it was a welcome distraction from Spider-Man but not legendary. Also, the movie was sure to succeed like its predecessor so the studio wasn't going to pump "unnecessary" funds into it. The movie was just good enough to wrap up the franchise. Movies live on reputation these days, have you seen the Man of Steel trailer? It says "From Zack Snyder Director of Watchmen & 300 and Producer Christopher Nolan, Director of The Dark Knight Trilogy." These guys aren't selling movies anymore, they are selling reputations. Its like, "Don't worry what the movie is about, just come and see what these guys have done this time." - As Michael Bay's evident philosophy goes, "They will watch it anyway so forget making the script airtight, just cue the explosions."

      I will indeed stick to my comic books. They are yet to let me down on such a momentous scale.

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  11. I'll admit, I was biased in my initial review of this movie coz of expectations, denial, loyalty & whatnot but after a second critical look, yeah, they really did perform somewhat below par. My 2 main issues - the whole twilight angle (we've already talked about this) & the brick plain villain. It's sad when being evil (regardless of how shallow the reason) is all a villain is given in his trait-list. Character development points for the scaly man = 0.4/100

    TDKR... Plot holes really shouldn't be that big! I know I know, it's the freaking batman & he's supposed to be mysterious & full of surprises but that 'rising' he did from his deepest, darkest personal abyss to sheer awesomeness was just disappointing. So much for the title & general theme of the movie. What's even worse is people justifying said holes like they produced & co-wrote it.

    Anyway, Iron Man 3 & Man of Steel aren't too far off...They can redeem this sad situation.

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    1. Like I've mentioned (and I think Ill do an entire post on it) Hollywood is starting to resemble an African election. With very few exceptions, they aren't bringing their best forward, they are creating some sort of euphoria that is meant to cloud critical thinking so they can sell tickets. Its the easier route to take.

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    2. Seconded. Creativity and story-telling are going down the drain. Lemme know when/if you write the post.

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  12. this review sucks. I cold't even read all the flaws becauase the flaws had flaws within them! its perfectly fine that peter is a doucheb*g in this one, spider-man's a doucheb*g in the comics. also the fact that he was the only succesful cross species hybrid is plausible, we don't even know all the spiders in that room are the same type of mutant! also they expect the watcher to be smart enough to figure out that oscorp did stumble upon the dead spiders and just thought the mutation went wrong or something. also you constantly compare it to the 2002 spider-man and how its just a too-soon redo well you said you like the dark knight trilogy and that was also released 10 years after batman forever.(the same amount of time as the amaazing spiderman was released after spider-man.)

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    1. I don't understand the beginning of your comment but I was all for the reboot. I was excited to see what new angle they could explore with the character as long as it respected the comics. I had no problem with the time period between the first trilogy and the reboot. My problem was with how they did the movie. It felt careless, rushed and lacking depth. You feel it was a flawless movie?

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    2. no, I'm saying that a lot of your points are not completely factual.

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  13. anybody who agrees with this review is obviously a comic book n00b. the new movie was waaaaaaaaaaay more accurate then the original trilogy. MJ was not peters first love, gwen was. spider-man doesn't shoot webs from his hands but his web shooters. and most importantly spider-man is no goody two shoes! he is a freaking d*uchebag! this movie was so much better then the trilogy. it had darker themes and more character depth.
    next time you do a review get your facts right

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    1. First off, my blog isn't a movie review site. Its an online diary for me to share my thoughts with whoever is interested in reading them. That means my opinions may not be shared by others but that doesn't make them any less factual than those that disagree with them. I agree with you on almost three accounts, the parts of the initial trilogy that deviated from the comics were:
      1.Peter using organic webs rather than web shooters.
      2.Peter's personality was more compassionate than comical, maybe too compassionate.
      3.Peter's love interest was initially Gwen Stacy.

      Spider-Man delivers his lines with wit and humour, not anger and bitterness as was portrayed in the film. He had such negative energy, he needed the compassion of the previous Spider-Man films and the wit and humour of a cheeky teenager. He ended up acting like Dr. House. That's not Spider-Man's default personality. I had actually wanted a reboot so they could rectify Peter's personality but they took it to the opposite extreme in the reboot. He is NEVER a douchebag to Aunt May. PERIOD! Another fact that isn't in dispute here is that Peter would never plagiarize somebody else's work or take credit for something that wasn't his. You should probably do your own research on that and get YOUR facts right. And since you're so in touch with your comic books tell me when you ever saw Spider-Man so careless with his secret identity. Get back to me on that, even with the current run. Check out the end to Spider-Island (Amazing Spider-Man 673 I think) and let me know what you think.
      As for Mary Jane being his girlfriend those are liberties constantly taken in alternate universes in the comics. Nobody was concerned with the direction of the films in that respect. MJ was always his neighbour so Gwen could be inserted later, it wasn't anything monumental, half the fans didn't even care.
      Holler back at me and lets chat about it.

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    2. okay, okay, in the words of joker "lets not blow this out of proportion." seriously though lets have a serious chat here. I can agree that peter acting like a jerk to aunt may was stupid.(although for most of the film he try's to be nice to her.)and I can agree that spider-man as a little too dark. but you can't compare TASM to twilight, because that's just cruel. and also I did do my research via google. please reply

      p.s. spider-man is pretty careless with his secret identity in spider-man volium 1 105

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    3. The Twilight reference was just a stab at the teen generation of movie watchers who are easily swayed by "romantic" puppy-love scenes. The dialogue between Peter & Gwen was pretty bad that's why I chose such a harsh comparison. Even Kim Possible which is a Disney cartoon took 3 seasons before they could stage a romantic attraction between Kim & Ron and its dialogue was very plausible & very easy to relate to. The scenes between Peter and Gwen that were meant to be cute just didn't sell the concept. Maybe I'm blaming the script for that and the real problem may have been the acting. Maybe Andrew & Emma just didn't sell those scenes in a believable way. Above all, you can't deny that they took the giggly romance to an insulting extreme. It became such a real distraction from the movie.

      As for Spider-Man's secret identity, its even integrated into the story. Spider-Man is the one character with so much to lose by revealing his secret identity. Even the Avengers know it. If you read Civil War (SPOILER ALERT) and you see how Tony Stark manipulated Peter to comply with the Super Hero Registration Act and reveal his identity, it was the biggest shock to everyone else. Half the New Avengers couldn't even believe he did it because he's the most guarded with his identity. He didn't even want to share it with his fellow Avengers. It's Spider-Man's thing. He really really protects his identity and defends his family both physically and emotionally to the death. That's why I compare it to Raimi's trilogy. The compassion in Tobey's Spider-Man is the core essence of Spider-Man. Check out my post called "What Are Super Powers."

      Highlight what you feel I didn't address properly and Ill explain myself.

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    4. yeah I agree that in the amazing spiderman he does treat his sect secret identity pretty badly, and that some of the love scenes were awkwardly placed. but the those mistakes were also made in sam raimi's spider man films. Like when he's talking to the psychiatrist and he says " well I had this dream, well it wasn't my dream it was a friends dream." that was so awkwardly placed that if I was the psychiatrist I would immediately think he's spider-man. also the 3rd spider-man is filled with crappy love scenes nobody cared about.

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    5. I can't defend the third Spider-Man movie because it was the whole reason for the reboot. Personally, my feelings on Spider-Man are that the Sony execs have too much control over the creative process. Sam Raimi quit the franchise because he wasn't allowed to do his job independently. He wanted to use the classic Stan Lee villains but he was being forced by the studio to use Venom and Carnage. That's why the third movie was such a mess and he walked out afterwards. He had planned on Sandman then the studio decides, Venom MUST be in the film. He wanted to do a fourth with The Vulture but the studio didn't want his original script. They wanted Carnage or some new hip villain rather than The Vulture because he is old and uncool. If you watch the Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, you will see a real story, very well done, after two seasons they said they want to replace it with a better Spider-Man cartoon, Ultimate Spider-Man. Well Ultimate Spider-Man is out and its quite unwatchable. Its very cheesy and looks like its meant to sell merchandise rather than tell a story.
      Also, if you noticed in the first two Spider-Man movies, Peter's teacher (Doctor Connors) only had one hand. Raimi was slowly building towards The Lizard. Everything was carefully crafted until the interference was too much and Raimi walked out. That's the reason why I hated the reboot, it was careless, the back-stories were very shallow and even in the finer details like the score of the film (the background music), it didn't impact the movie at all.
      I just wish Marvel Studios had been able to reclaim the movie rights to Spider-Man like they managed with Hulk. We wouldn't have the mess that we have now.

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    6. I was also dissapointed that they had dr curt conners but not the lizard. thats like having the avengers movie with bruce banner but whithout hulk. p.s. spiderman had his cameras in the sewer because he was trying to prove dr curt conners was the lizard.

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    7. The Lizard was on the way, if the studio had just let Raimi do his thing it would have happened.
      As far as the camera in the sewer is concerned, unless The Lizard was planning on turning into Curt during their battle, I'm yet to be convinced. Everyone saw The Lizard above ground, his appearance on a camera wasn't going to change anything. I don't know how a battle in the sewer was going to reveal his real identity.

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    8. he was hoping to get footage of curt turning into the lizard. I liked the fact that you weren't spoon-fed every detail in the movie. also if your gonna be so critical about plot holes then watch the dark knight trilogy again and you'll find tons of plot holes. I loved the dark knight but sometimes movies do screw things up and thats why we have HISHE to be able to enjoy movies even with their plot holes.

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    9. I still think (if that was the intention) the delivery was poor. Its not our job to knit together scenes where movie direction was done poorly.
      I saw all the plot holes in TDKR and it was pretty careless of Nolan. Ill do a marathon of that trilogy soon.

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    10. In my opinion those scenes aren't done poorly they just want you to think about it.

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  14. HISHE just released amazing spider-man on thier website and it basically summarises this entire blog but still makes the movie seem good. check mate.

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    1. You were such a fan of the movie I see.

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  15. I wasn't a fan, I just liked it more then the 2003 spider-man. I can understand why people might like the 2003 spider-man more I just am not one of them.

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    1. Finally we come to an understanding. lol

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